the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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