We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
