She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
