thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
