Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
