I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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