Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
