Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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