so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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