I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
