I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
