We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
