Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
