I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
