I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
