Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Blow job season was short but glorious.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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