i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's the barista slut.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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