I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
