just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
