Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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