whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
