We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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