SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
