Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
