Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
