I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
what day is it and did you see me today?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
She's the barista slut.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
