At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
