i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
