that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
