The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
