Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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