Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
