Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She even gives head with a lisp.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
