In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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