went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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