guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
