Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
