i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
