Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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