I want to stick my p in your. b.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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