you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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