never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
