Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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