i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
