is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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