Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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