oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
