I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
