SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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