Moan for me like Helen Keller
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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