I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize