They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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