Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
