hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
