It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
