Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
