stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
