id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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