All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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